((I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry...))
----
Lien frowned at the report on his desk when Captain Toldar walked in. Navy captain, which meant that he outranked Lien, not that the veteran special forces officer would give the navy brat that satisfaction...
"Orell, you needed something?" Toldar asked, taking a seat.
Lien nodded. "Going over the duty rosters for some of our far flung patrols. Wondering if we can tighten some things up, promote some folk we might be overlooking."
The captain shrugged. "Of course, Captain. But those crews tend to be cobbled from dead end people, trouble-makers, officers that make second lieutenants look competent. Those are low risk patrols, worst they run into is a few smugglers."
"Right, Captain, and I've can't argue with you on most of them. A few I think could use a second chance, but that's really not why I'm chatting with you. I got to one ship-"
Toldar sighed. "The Abstello?"
"You know it?"
He nodded. "Yes, Captain. It's... complicated."
Lien sighed. "...just give me the rundown on the officers, alright? The reports I got were confusing."
Toldar squirmed in his seat, not meeting Lien's eyes. "You have to understand something about this ship. It's one of our lowest risk patrols, the crew is capable but... with an unusual sense of humor. It simply seemed prudent to... isolate them all to one vessel, and it has proven-
Lien sighed again. "...fine, fine. Just be straight with me, okay? Start with the name of the pilot?"
"Who."
"The pilot."
"Who."
"...Toldar, the name of the pilot."
"That's what I'm saying, who."
Lien frowned. "What is the name of the pilot."
Toldar shook his head. "That's the co-pilot."
"Who's the co-pilot?"
"No, the pilot."
"I thought you were talking about the co-pilot!"
"You said the co-pilot's name!"
"I don't know the co-pilot's name!"
Toldar sighed. "No, he's sensors. One crew position at a time, please."
Lien gaped at Toldar, then looked back at his notes, which were of no help what so ever. "...okay. Okay. So, if the captain gives a course correction, he tells who?"
"Correct."
"Who?"
"Correct!" Toldar beamed.
"...right..." Lien sighed, tapping down the note. "So, who's Correct's co-pilot?"
"No, no, no! Who is the pilot."
"What?"
"No, co-pilot."
"I... you... wh- You just said Correct!"
"Yes, you were saying who was the pilot!"
"...so, who is the pilot?"
"Correct!"
Lien sighed. "...okay. Co-pilot."
"What."
"...the co-pilot officer slot."
Toldar nodded. "What."
"...it's the guy that does trajectory calculations. You've heard of it, right?"
"Of course! I'm a life-long navy man!"
"Right. So what's the co-pilot."
"No, who is the pilot!"
"I don't know!"
"Sensors again, Captain." Toldar said calmly, the tone only enraging Lien more. "Can you please pay more attention?"
"...lets go somewhere else. Ship's got a CMO, right?'
"Of course. It'd be rather shameful for a ship to go out on long patrol without a doctor."
"So, the name of the CMO?"
"Why."
"...it's the whole point of this meeting."
"I know, Captain."
"So tell me the name of the CMO," Lien said, with barely restrained patience.
"Why."
"Because I'm asking! Who's the CMO?"
"No, who is the pi-"
Something snapped in Lien. "Stay off the damn bridge!"
Toldar just sat there, politely waiting as Lien glared at him. Calm down, Li. No point in gettin' worked up like this... "...okay. Main gunner for the Abstello. Name?"
"Soon."
Lien blinked. "...you don't know?"
Toldar sighed. "No, soon."
"When?"
Toldar sighed, raising a hand to his forehead. "...Captain, please take this seriously."
Lien's jaw dropped. "...just tell me the gunner's name."
"Soon."
"No! Now!"
"The chief engineer? He always seemed like a solid lad, he could do for a new assignment I suppose."
"...why are you in engineering?"
"You mentioned-"
"Nevermind! What's the gunner?!"
"No, he's the co-pilot."
"I'm not asking you who's the co-pilot!"
"Who's the pilot."
"I don't know!"
"Sensors, captain. Why are we here now?"
Lien's look, by all rights, should have set Captain Toldar's hair on fire, who seemed oddly unconcerned by the whole matter. "...just... why?"
"Is something wrong with the doctor?"
"Leave the damn doctor out of this! I don't care!"
Toldar smiled sagely and nodded. "Ah, the captain. Solid lad."
Lien just stared at Toldar. "...what?"
"Co-"
Lien slammed his datapad down on the desk and pointed at the door.
Toldar smirked slightly and stood. "A pleasure speaking with you, Captain Orell," he said, departing.
Lien groaned, flicking on the datapad again and going over the Abstello's report again, trying to make heads or tails of it, pausing only when he received a message from Toldar himself.
"It's good to know that special forces haven't changed much in the last few years. Too bad you didn't last longer, cost me 25 credits in the pool."
On reflection, it was probably a good thing that his office didn't have a large window. The dent might take some explaining, though...
