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Author Topic: Bluebird and Captain Dumbass  (Read 811 times)

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Offline Orell

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Bluebird and Captain Dumbass
« on: 09/25/12, 12:39:03 AM »
"T7 = Awesome!"

T7 whirled into Shaantil's quarters, who was until very recently deep in meditation, sitting passively on the floor.

"Who = The man?"

Shaantil sighed. "T7, you are not human, you are a droid."

T7 paused, and then beeped again in response. "Who = The Droid?"

"I do not presume to know." Inwardly, Shaantil futily hoped that T7's grasp of sarcasm had improved somewhat.

"T7 = The Droid!"

Nope. "What is it, T7?"

"T7 = recovered interview between Soldin + Simon!"

Shaantil hesitated, fighting the sudden nervousness. "...you had said that the recording was destroyed in a bombing several years ago."

T7 spun and beeped cheerfully. "T7 = find transcript backup! // Transcript = hidden in off-world backup // Security = "

"T7, I do not need the full history. Please, send me the transcript."

"T7 = sending! // Jedi = know who The Droid = ?"

Shaantil called her datapad to her hand, and sighed inwardly. The droid did deserve some praise for this. "You are the Droid."

T7 sped off, beeping happily. "T7 = The Droid!"

Shaantil flicked on the datapad with another sign, and began to read.

----

<DIS13 CASE5320.05.21.3 INT-1 TRANS>

<FILE CLASSIFIED: RED-3 SECURITY CLEARANCE ON AUTH OF JK SOLDIN>

<ARRESTING OFFICER: CPL. L. VARNA ASST. JK SOLDIN>

<SUSPECT ACCUSED OF 421: AIDING AND ABETTING FUGITIVE>

<UNDER REG. 211.52 JK SOLDIN IS INTERVIEWING>

JKS: Would you please state your name for the record?

SUS: Come on, Bluebird, you know who I am. <SUSPECT HAS JOVIAL TONE>

JKS: I might, but the record does not.

SUS: <CHUCKLING> Alright, fine. The name, Mister Record, is Captain Simon Dumas.

JKS: Thank you. You are aware you are entitled to representation?

SUS: What, you don't think I can represent myself?

JKS: <SIGH> You are aware that you are entitled to representation, and you have declined?

SUS: <CHUCKLING> By the book, huh, Bluebird? Yeah, I got my own back here.

JKS: Thank you. Your place of birth?

SUS: For Mister Record again, or for you?

JKS: For the Record, yes.

SUS: Tiny little village, couple clicks outta the spaceport on Alpheridies, called Djorman. Really gorgeous in the springtime, we could make a nice little getaway, you-

JKS: Please stay on subject, Mis-

SUS: CAPTAIN Dumas, thank you.

JKS: Very well, Captain. Are you aware that Alpheridies has no record of a Simon Dumas being born there, ever?

SUS: <CHUCKLING> Done your homework, bluebird!

JKS: I'll assume for the moment that Simon Dumas is an assumed name. Now th-

SUS: <LAUGHING> Really? You think I'd go by Captain Dumb-ass if I had a say in the matter?

JKS: I have see-

SUS: There's that smile!

<PAUSE>

JKS: You saw no such thing.

SUS: Yeah, yeah, I know what I saw, Bluebird. Come on, ask me about the damsel.

JKS: <CLEARED THROAT> You were caught attempting to smuggle a Teri Rycal off planet.

SUS: Hey, she gave me a sob story about an abusive boyfriend, I fell for it, what's the crime?

JKS: You mean, besides hiding her in a secret compartment during customs inspection?

SUS: She tripped and fell in, and I didn't want to inconvenience everyone!

<PAUSE>

JKS: You're telling me that she tripped and fell into the compartment, just as Customs performed their inspection, and did not pull her out until after the inspection?

SUS: Hey, we've all seen str-

JKS: I can assure you, Captain Dumas <UNUSUAL STRESS ON "S" SOUND>, I have not.

SUS: Look, you came on, found her and dragged her out, no harm no foul, right?

JKS: You still broke the law. Furthermore, you should have detect-

SUS: Oh, don't pull that Miraluka card on me. I meet a lot of not-nice people, doesn't mean I can't trust them.

JKS: There is still no excuse for the negligence.

SUS: Hey, like I said, no harm, no foul.

JKS: She pulled a weapon on me. If it didn't malfunction-

SUS: I gave her that blaster, nice to have a dummy pistol around.

<PAUSE>

JKS: So, you didn't trust her.

SUS: Not enough to let her be armed on my ship. Trusted her enough to take her Creds. Speaking of w-

JKS: No, your payment has been confiscated as evidence.

SUS: <CHUCKLE> Worth a shot.

JKS: Now, I have been convinced to consider recommending leniency, if you help us with the investigation.

SUS: Oh, I see how it is. You want to put the screws to me and see if I'll flip on the damsel, tell you all she said when she didn't think I was listening? Well, Bluebird, I don't play that game, assuming I even heard anything.

JKS: Captain, she stands accused of a triple homicide. She is hardly worth the effort of protecting.

SUS: Hey, you got your code, I got mine. Bet you really would like to hear the recording of the comm she made to her buddy off-planet.

<PAUSE>

JKS: You have a recording-

SUS: Yep. Stored on my ship's drive, voice-locked.

JKS: You wouldn't tell me if-

SUS: Oh, right, demands. Lets see, complete immunity, reimbursement of the payment I was given by her, dinner, my ship released from impound and my involvement in this kept under wraps.

<TAPPING ON A DATAPAD>

<PAUSE>

JKS: Could you repeat the third part?

SUS: <CHUCKLING> Dinner.

JKS: Generally the warden only does that on special occasions, such as executions.

SUS: Hmm, you're right. Probably should have it with someone else. <LOUD TAPPING ON TABLE> Say! You're around, how about it?

JKS: What?

SUS: Come on, candlelit dinner, you and me, dinin' on the copper's cred? Best night of embezzlement you'd ever have.

JKS: I- Captain, this is getting rather inappropriate.

SUS: Mmm, no, inappropriate would be-

<AUDIO MISSING, ANALYSIS SUGGESTS MICROPHONE IS BEING COVERED>

SUS: -ext morning, we could do it all again.

<PAUSE>

SUS: <CHUCKLING> Bluebird? Or is it Redbird now?

JKS: <SHORT COUGH> I think <PAUSE> I think you should <PAUSE> focus on other matters.

SUS: <LAUGHTER> Spoil all my fun, why don't you!

JKS: Captain, that-

SUS: Alright, alright, went a bit far there. What can I say, you inspired me.

JKS: <SCRAPING SOUND: ANALYSIS SUGGESTS CHAIR BEING PUSHED BACK> I will take your <PAUSE> other requests to the local authorities.

SUS: Don't be a stranger, Bluebird!

<END TRANSCRIPT>
Character List:

Pub side: Lien Orell, Kyri Orell, Shaantil (possibly Dumas), Norland, Everen (bank alt ATM), Quarashaa (Pub version of the real Quarasha), Merrant

Imp Side: Quarasha, Effet Ornell, Arazel, Zedney, Zhel, Asori-Alnas

 

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