((With apologies only to Freddie Mercury))"Yes, having one's hand bitten off by a varacyl is rather embarrassing."
Aylaa smirked up at her sister-in-law as they walked. "It is, isn't it?"
Neridis shook her head, bemused. "Even I know not to get too close to the business end of a war mount and I grew up here," she said, gesturing around to the small plaza high in Kaas City's fashionable city center. "What happened to the hand?" She asked.
"Sweetie ate it," Aylaa sighed as they began to walk down the broad steps at one side of the elevated city park.
"Sweetie." Neridis arched an eyeridge.
Aylaa flashed her teeth at her much taller sister-in-law. "Her dam is named Cupcake." She shrugged. "It seemed appropriate."
Neridis rolled her eyes, but chuckled anyway. "Does 'Sweetie' now have a taste for Twi'lek?" she asked, picking off loose thread from the long sleeve of her deep red robe.
"I'm not sure on that account. Gave her indigestion. Put her off her feed and, well, if the stable droid had emotions I imagine it'd be rather annoyed at resulting... mess."
"Ugh," Neridis scrunched her nose. "There is something striking to some of the creatures the House keeps in its employ but some of the smells," she trailed off, waving a hand.
"Well not everywhere can be as luxuriously pristine as your clinics, dear sister," Aylaa replied airily. "Ah, is that the cafe?"
Neridis looked up then smiled. "Yes. Just opened. They have damn good caff," she said. They crossed the green lawn and plant formations to the other side, enduring only a light rain. "We make the surgical interns hike across the city to bring it to us." She winked.
"It's not too horrifically rainy," Aylaa mused, "should we get a sidewalk table?"
"At least here the water just goes away and you don't need a heavy-lifting droid to move half of Hoth to get out of your front door," Neridis replied, sniffing and tossing her long black hair back over her shoulder.
"Heh. Ohh look at
that strutting creature," Aylaa said subtly nodding to a Sith and his retinue parading down the broad pedestrian boulevard that ran around the circumference of the landscaped square.
Neridis narrowed her eyes then snorted a laugh. "House Zek-ver. That'd be "Lord" Mycell the somewhat more pompous nephew of Darth Wrayth."
"
More pompous than Wrayth?"
Neridis pursed her lips and nodded, her face sliding into a calm emotionless mask as she spoke in low tones. "He's tried to sleep his way through his Uncles social circles for the last few years. Father was able to deny his suit of my cousin because he's a useless spice-head."
"Oh my," Aylaa snickered. "And that retinue," she said, nodding as they ascended the broad stairs to duck under the cafe's broad awnings. "That's what, four slaves with perhaps half a yard of clothing between them? Exotic colors."
"Mmmm," Neridis mused with a critical eye. " 'Least one is a Zeltron." Her golden eyes slid back to Aylaa, shining in mirth. "As I understand it, he's the sort who needs some... assistance."
"Oh poor, baby. Too much spice in the plumbing to work."
Neridis nodded slightly as she daintily folded her longer fingers on the table. "I think he bought and bribed his way through Korriban. Such an embarrassment," she commented with venom that didn't match the neutral public face.
"Well he sure didn't fuck his way through."
The noble facade cracked and Neridis snorted a laugh. "Aylaa."
Aylaa shrugged and watched the crowd as Neridis placed an order with the droid for the both of them.
Lord Mycell was somewhat portly and was mostly human but had some true Sith ancestry. it shone through in a ruddy complexion and some very sad cheek tendrils. His robes were far too heavy and rich to do anything other than weigh him down in a fight. He wore a fashionable amount of armor, which meant it was more flashy than functional and Aylaa doubted there was a gram of Phrik in the weave.
The lord had stopped to chat up a fellow at one of the other establishments on the street and the two were laughing uproariously and taking up more space than they were worth. The four slaves, two assistants and, how pathetic, bodyguards stood awkwardly and blocked foot traffic while their lord laughed it up with an almost equally overdressed young Sith lord.
As the two parted company, Lord Mycell began to strut away.
"Oh stars." Aylaa nodded down the street then looked away so she wouldn't be caught staring. "He's practically dancing."
Neridis turned her head slightly to look, her eye ridges lifting. "He is dancing."
Aylaa eyed the man out of the corner of her eye when suddenly a loud baritone rang out in the square.
"Toniiiiiiight," the voice sang out,
"I'm gonna have myself a real good tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiime."Aylaa blinked. "He's singing."
"I feel aliii-Hiiii-hiiii-hiiiiiive! And the Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorld! I'll turn it insiiiiiide oooooooooooout, yeah!""He's... not horrible?" Neridis said, now openly looking at the Sith lord who was sashaying down the wide street.
"I'm floating around in ecstasy!" he sang in an airy, breathy, falsetto.
"...Spice?" Aylaa asked. Neridis shrugged.
"So don't....stop....me...nooooow," Mycell sang out, in the same falsetto as he punctuated each sticatto word with a little hop.
"Don't.. stop.. me," he continued then abruptly gained speed as he raced up onto the nearest planter.
"'Cause I'm having a good time! Having a good time!""Should we... call someone?" Aylaa asked, hand half reaching for her comm.
"I'm a shooting star leaping through the sky!" Mycell sang, running along the planter and leaping at the end of the phrase.
"I'm a Vorn tiger!" he stopped before two ladies who'd been eating lunch and prowled a coy hand at them.
"Defying the laws of gravityyyyyyyyy!" He backed up and ran back down the street.
"I'm a racing swoop passing byyyyyyy!""I... Think maybe we should... call someone?" Neridis said. "This... doesn't really look like a typical spice reaction." She frowned and watched Mycell continue to sing and began to climb the decorative statue between two hedges.
"I'm gonna go, go, go, There's no stopping meeeeeee!" He launched himself off the statue and did a surprisingly neat flip before landing on his feet.
"I'm burning through the skyyyy, yeah!""His people seem confused," Aylaa noted. she looked around and saw that most of the patrons in the surrounding businesses had stopped and were gawking at the singing and bounding sith lord.
"I'm traveling at the speed of liiiiiiiiiiiight!" Mycell sang out, running full out back to his compatriot at the other cafe, grabbing the sith by his armored top and hauling him half over the railing.
"I wanna make a supersonic man out of yooooooooou!" He sang then shoved his dazed friend back over the railing.
"Don't... stop... me... noooow!" he sang, over the catcalls of the other Sith's drinking companions.
"I'm having such a good time!" He grinned, snapped his fingers, then pointed them at a cafe waitress.
"I'm having a ball!" He did threw his hands out and began to do something that, if one squinted, might have resembled a dance. Two of his slaves gamely attempted to dance in place with their master but stopped after a few steps, bewildered.
"Don't... stop... me... nooooow!" he sang out, his voice taking on an oddly ecstatic joy.
"If you wanna have a good time," He grinned and grabbed another waitress and swung her around in a circle.
"Just give me a call!" The waitress sailed out into the grass with a small scream of surprise.
Several bystanders stood up and began to shout.
"Don't... stop... me... noooow!" He punctuated the triumphant note with a blast of lightning from his hands. Several of the bystanders screamed. Tables flipped and people began to hide behind them. The crowd across the square began to surge away, fleeing the Sith lord on a musical rampage.
"Cause I'm havin' a good time!" More lightning. More screaming. The non-sith crowded over one another in their attempts to escape, fleeing into shops or out of the square.
Other sith were rising from their seats. Aylaa looked around and found none of them to be familiar apart from her sister-in-law.
"Don't.. stop... me... nooooow! Yes I'm havin' a good time!" he punctuated with a blast of lightning.
"I don't wanna stop at allllllllllllllllllll!" He filled the air around him with dark energy, his eyes wide, fingers held in rictus claws before the blast rushed forth into the air and impacted a building, cracking the glass and shattering the surrounding duracrete.
"Yeah!"He turned around, his eyes aglow with manic power.
"I'm a spaceship on my way to Voooooss!" he sang out, bounding across the duracrete to the cafe where Aylaa, Neridis and a few other sith were standing their ground as Kass Civil Security Droids arrived on the scene.
"On a collision course!" He pushed aside the leading droid with the force.
"I am a satellite! I'm out of controooool" He blasted the following droid with a burst of lightning.
"I'm a sex machine ready to reloooooad like an neutron bomb!" He began to hop forward on each word, his hips leading in a bizarre dance.
"About to whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh, exploooode!" he took out the awnings with a blast.
The human sith who'd been sitting a few tables down from Aylaa and Neridis launched himself at Mycell.
"I'm burning through the sky, yeah!" Mycell sang as he dodged the other sith, tossing him down the street and into his retinue.
"This isn't normal, spice, is it?" Aylaa asked as Mycell turned his attention to the two women.
"I'm traveling at the speed of light!" he sang as she bullrushed Aylaa, grabbing her arm and pulling her close.
"I wanna make a supersonic woman of you!"Aylaa hit him with a Force enhanced uppercut.
Mycell sailed up and back a good three meters, skidding on the damp grass, his heavy robes in a tangle. He began to laugh.
"I think that's enough," Aylaa said over the laughter, her hand going to her saber. More Kass Civic Peacekeeping droids appeared.
Mycell continued to laugh as he rolled onto his knees, wavering slightly.
"Sir, if you would come with us," one of the droids said, stepping forward and flashing its official Holobadge.
Mycell laughed and blasted it with the Force, sending it tumbling head over heals back into an overturned table. He got to his feet still laughing. The laughter had a ragged edge to it.
"Definitely not normal spice," Aylaa observed.
"
If it's spice," Neridis said, frowning. "I'm calling Kass General to get a damned medical team out here," she said pulling out her personal holocom.
Mycell got up, wavering in place, and attempted to dance only to fall over his own feet, his laughter doubling, punctuated only by gasps for air. His retinue edged forward and he clutched at the robes of his aide, his voice now high-pitched and ragged, a trail of blood leaking from his nose.
His aide was torn between concern and disgust when Mycell suddenly seized, his entire body going rigid before he fell to the ground then began to flop like a landed fish.
And he laughed.
Mycell flailed around on the ground. his body went stiff again so only his head and heels touched the ground then he collapsed once more into uncoordinated writhing. Flecks of foam appeared at his mouth.
And yet... he laughed.
Aylaa dropped her hand away from her saber and watched as the Sith laughed as the paramedic unit arrived, the droids attempting to hold his body down as the human consulted with her sister-in-law. She saw him break the board the orderly united had attempted to strap him to. She saw the flecks of foam turn red and watched as he died laughing.
Neridis gritted her teeth channelled Lightning into her hands and slammed her clawed fingers into the body with a roar. The body jerked under her touch. She growled and sent a second then third jolt into the body. The laughter had finally stopped.
Neridis stood, flicked a surly jolt of lightning at the man's head then huffed a lock of hair out of her face and stalked over to stand beside Aylaa.
"He's dead. Couldn't haul him back," she said, with a scowl. She rolled her shoulders and drew fingers through her hair to settle the lightning frizz. "Too bad. Could have used the favor from his Uncle."
Aylaa nodded. They watched the paramedics load the body up.
"That.... was a thing that happened," Aylaa said.
"Hell of a thing."
